I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
