i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
