Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
