in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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