Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
