Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
