Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
