on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
