Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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