I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
