I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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