Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Randomize
