I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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