dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When are your genitals available?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
