4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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