I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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