Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
