I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
