question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
