ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
did i just pee glitter
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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