We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
