Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
