I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
