I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She's the barista slut.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
