So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
