I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
