Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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