He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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