I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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