Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
