believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
