Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
