You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
