I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
