I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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