dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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