he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're like the curious george of whores
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
