I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
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