Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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