It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
