Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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