Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
