Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I love you. Go after that dick
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
