you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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