Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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