Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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