It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
