drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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