i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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