You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
