omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize