I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
