put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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