Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sorry about my life...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
