Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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