the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize