Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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