if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
