I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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