yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
