I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
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The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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