I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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