waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
