You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
