im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
