Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
