we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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